The LEP's Golden Boy
by Magna Dea
Summary: Despite his reputation as a legend among the officers of the LEP, Trouble Kelp is much more than just a gung-ho Retrieval elf...
1. Steer

_Disclaimer: NMEC's (Not Mine Eoin Colfer's)_

_Yeah, I finally got around to attempting the 10 Song iPod Shuffle Challenge but I've hit a slight hurdle - I can't seem to stop typing once I've started. That means that you're all lucky (or unlucky, as the case may be) and instead of getting 10 drabble-length pieces, you get 10 oneshots._

_This one is set during Holly's 3 year disappearance (during AF: TLC) and loosely inspired by Missy Higgins' song Steer (though the plot bunny did grab the idea and run!) _

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The colours at his fingertips were hypnotic. Greens, blues, violet. Sea spray misted along his visor, pixelating the map displayed across the gel screen. Trouble could feel nature's magnetism tingling in his veins; the need to dive out of the sky and place his hands on the earth. It was impossible to concentrate beyond the panorama before him. Every fairy could feel that strange pull; some more than others.

After their separation from the surface, elves became the most nature-loving clan among the fairies. It was easy for dwarves and sprites to feel the pulse of the earth as their treasured elements, the soil and air, were in abundance below ground. Elves, however, were not bound to one element like the other families. Some, like the late Julius Root, held plant life closest to their hearts. Trouble's affinity was for water and he knew his friend, Holly Short, treasured the surface dwelling animals above all else. It was another reason why there were so few elves in recon; they were highly emotional creatures and their unbreakable bond with nature could be a distraction on missions.

"Haven to Kelp, come in Major Seaweed."

Trouble felt almost glad that Foaly had interrupted his musings, _almost_.

"What is it, centaur?" he growled, wiping the haze of salt water from his helmet mid-flight. This time, he was careful to disable the virtual controls in his gloves before doing so. On his first mission with the new virtual controls, Foaly, in his infinite wisdom, had forgotten to warn the Major about the need to tap the 'off' button before making any wildly generous movements. Trouble liked the ocean, but he hadn't expected to go careening off into the peak of a roiling, white-capped wave. All the gear was waterproof but Trouble still came back with hypothermia from his dunking in the Atlantic Ocean; Sool had not been impressed.

"We have a problem. You could almost call it…," the suspicious pause caught his attention; Foaly was about to hint at something serious, "..._Trouble below ground_."

There was a moment for the Major to frown over the odd inflection on what would normally be a joke. His thoughts, however, were interrupted by a wince as the mail tone reverberated through his helmet. He turned the sound down with his wrist computer while opening the email from Police Plaza. Multi-tasking was nothing new to the trained LEP operative so, despite the fact he was male, he still had a few brain cells left over to contemplate the abruptly serious pitch of Foaly's voice. Something was going on; something Foaly couldn't talk about over an open radio frequency. He quickly scanned through the email, his breath quickening with every line.

_To:_ _All LEP Officers, Council Members and Support Staff_

_From: IA Chairman and LEP Commander Ark Sool_

_Subject: Future Operations_

Under the jurisdiction of council law 63.1.4, version 3: All 'off the books' actions are to be ceased, _immediately_. This ruling includes the so-called _rescue _missions for the island of Hybras and all associated demons, mud persons and civilians. These activities are a waste of taxpayer gold and police time. Any individual found guilty of continuing these operations will face immediate expulsion from the LEP and further legal action upon their removal.

The demons did not come to the Peoples' aid during the battle for the surface; they were the cause of our subterranean banishment. Why should the LEP expend its limited resources to save traitors? Let them perish in the name of our exiled forefathers.

_Ark Sool_

_IA Chairman and LEP Commander_

"You're communications are being monitored?" Trouble guessed, closing the memo and sending it directly to the junk folder.

"Yes, but the pony-boy has some tricks in his tail," the centaur whinnied. "My paranoia after the Koboi incident is about to pay off."

"Be careful, Foaly. Which shuttleport would you recommend I use on my way underground?"

"Hmm…E1 has a sparkly, top-of-the-range sub-sonic shuttle lying around in the landing docks. It would be _such_ a shame if that went missing."

Trouble laughed, reactivating the virtual controls for his wings. "One crime, coming right up! I'll be down in 30 minutes tops. Would you be so kind as to block all communications to my helmet for the time being?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Foaly shut off the comm-link as the Major extended his wings from their automatic hover-cycle with a flick of his wrists. The light from the ocean sparkled along their edges as Trouble fired them up, sweeping low along the foaming water to gain speed. Behind his visor, the grin on his face was tinged with a slightly feral quality. Major Trouble Kelp, the golden boy of the LEP and Sool's most trusted officer, had a rebellion to organise.

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_So, do you want more of these? Less? Do you want Holly in the next one? Does my version of Trouble match your idea of his character? What **shipping **would you like to see in these? Any plot ideas? Songs? I'm up for recommendations!_

_Also, I would love to know how you think my writing is going (I'm trying to improve on my old stuff) The incentive for comments will be...an update (if that's what you'd like :P)_


	2. Numb

_First, I'd like to say a huge thank you to _ht4eva_, _Bookfanx100_, _Holly Bluemoon_, _Captain Holly Short of The LEP_, _Thobbit_ and _nekodreamstealer_ for your awesome and incredibly kind reviews! I hope I remembered to respond to all your reviews _:)

_This oneshot is loosely based on the song Numb by Linkin Park (more the instrumental part than the words) but for those of you who ship H/T, Your Guardian Angel by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus also fits this well _;) **This is set just after AF: The Opal Deception.**_ Enjoy!_

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Trouble slid his key card through the lock on his office door with a yawn. Despite his reluctance to take advantage of his promotion to major, Commander Root had insisted on rewarding him with a large, private office. Usually, the captains shared an open-plan office with their colleagues. A few lucky ones, those on their way to major, could work in a semi-private office with three other fairies. Trouble's old office had been part of the open-plan captains' floor. The captains' floor, dubbed the 'slave cave' by it's inhabitants, had been so loud and noisy that the silence of Trouble's new office had initially driven him insane. After the first few weeks, he discovered the joys of the PPTV music channels; bad gnome pop music trumped silence any day. Today, to his surprise, his office was neither empty nor silent.

"Hello?" he called into the darkness, groping along the wall for the light switch. Most fairies had voice-activated lights but the pixie who had owned the office before Trouble liked the old style dimmers. Suddenly, he felt the switch bump against his index finger and he flicked the lights on halfway. The room quickly filled with a dull green glow, one of the few preferences Trouble and the office's previous owner held in common.

On most days, Trouble allowed himself a few moments to admire the space he now owned. This time, however, his attention was immediately caught by the blanket-wrapped fairy huddled on his couch at the back of the room.

"Are you alright?" he asked, voice expressing concern even as his hand trailed down to his sidearm. Trouble was already in soldier mode, his sensitive ears pricking up as he caught the sound of the person's breathing. The pitch of the breaths allowed him to easily identify the person as female, around three feet tall, average weight. There was no real rhythm to the short gasps of air, suggesting that they were crying or had been very recently.

The figure shifted and Trouble's mind automatically ran a threat assessment, his eyes searching for the glint of a knife or gun barrel. He had to consciously control the urge to draw his weapon, an action Julius Root had ensured was ingrained into each of his officers' reflexes.

"Identify yourself!"

The fairy sniffled and sighed, sitting up in the dim light. "Relax, Trouble, it's just me."

"Holly?" asked Trouble with a start before scrambling to recover his composure. "Er, Captain Short?"

The elf let out a derisive snort, her head hung low. "Not anymore, Major. Sool made sure of that."

"What?" The major crossed his office in five quick steps, halting before the couch's arm. From the new angle, he could see tears glittering at the corners of Holly's eyes and those tiny, unshed drops stole his breath. "H-How…I don't-"

"I quit."

Trouble lowered himself onto the arm of the couch, his fingers curling into fists. He already hated Internal Affairs, every LEP officer did, but Sool had just taken his vendetta against the force more than one step too far.

"I just can't stand being here anymore," Holly continued, her face still turned down so Trouble couldn't see the tears escape her hazel eyes and slip down her cheeks. "People think I…they think I _murdered_ Julius. He was like a father to me, how could I do _that_…how could I even _consider _that?" Her voice cut off hoarsely, her throat constricting painfully to keep the sobs at bay. "I can't live like that, Trouble, I just….._can't_."

"I know," he whispered, unclenching his fists to twist his fingers together as numbness swept up his arms. "I'd do just the same."

Holly glanced at him in the emerald glow of the dimmed lighting; her expression softening as she realised there was still one fairy who truly believed her. "Thank you, I'm glad…I'm glad you've still got my back."

He slid quietly from his perch on the couch's arm, settling into the cushions beside the ex-captain as he wound his arm gently around her shoulders. "Holly, I'll _always _have your back. Even if it means I have to disobey orders, risk my career and ruin my reputation as the 'LEP's golden boy' to do so."

She chuckled wetly, settling her head against her friend's chest while he held her close, his hand buried in her short auburn hair. Slowly, Holly drifted off to sleep in the warm circle of her friend's arms, his heart beat strong and comforting beneath her ear.

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_So, how was that? _:)_ On another note, I'd like to know if I should make an actual story out of the 'Trouble leading a rebellion against Sool' plot line? (It would be a separate, full-length piece set during AF: TLC)_

_7 days until AF: TAC comes out in the UK! (Unfortunately, I'm an Aussie and I also have no idea when it's being released down under!)_

_Last but certainly not least, a _**poll**: **Which of these would you like the next oneshot to be about:**

**+ something humourous**

**+ a mission**

**+ a character getting hurt**


	3. Black Betty

_Thank you, thank you, thank you to _Captain Holly Short of the LEP_,_ ht4eva_,_ Thobbit_,_ Mrs. Felix Volturi_,_ Holly Bluemoon _and _. the . brown . eyed . girl . _for all your lovely reviews! _

_This oneshot is inspired by the song Black Betty by Spiderbait (which I love to listen to when I'm struggling to finish an assignment at midnight the day before it's due!) I'd written about half of this when I put the last chapter up and while I was editing I realised that it really is an "all of the above" fic (see the poll at the bottom of the previous chapter), though the humour is lighter than what I normally write! _**It's set before the 1st Artemis Fowl book, a short while after the Hamburg Incident. **_Enjoy!  
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"Get down!" Trouble yelled, grabbing for Holly's arm as the female elf seemed determined to ignore his orders. The two officers went down in a heap of black and green clad limbs, Trouble's communicator skittering across the tarmac. From the corner of his eye, Trouble saw the countdown in his visor tick over to 0, causing his body to automatically brace for the impact of a fairy munitions factory exploding.

_If _they did make it back to Police Plaza, he would be wringing some serious centaur neck. At the mission briefing, Foaly had sworn on crossed hooves that it would be a cakewalk. Grab the target - _another_ insane pixie - disarm the crude incendiary device the dim-witted fairy had mistakenly strapped to a crate of gun holsters and haul him back to Police Plaza.

Root had agreed with the LEP's chief techie; two officers would be more than enough to take down the rogue pixie without incident. Normally, he would have just sent Captain Short to do recon on the building with a full retrieval squad to pick up the perp when Holly was a safe distance away. The Captain's track record _had_ been perfect until the Hamburg incident. Thinking about that nightmare still made Root's temples throb so he'd sent Captain Trouble Kelp, Retrieval's golden boy, to balance out Holly's instincts; a 'safeguard' measure in case any decisions had to be made under pressure.

Though the two elves did balance each others' weaknesses out rather nicely, neither had expected the 'insane pixie' to be more deranged than his case file suggested. Instead of strapping the incendiary device to the completely harmless case of gun holsters, the pixie had managed to strap it to a crate of extremely volatile chemicals. Holly had slipped through an open skylight on the factory's roof and realised how serious the situation was when she caught sight of the red and yellow warning labels. She'd shot back out of the skylight and abandoned any sense of stealth, yelling at Trouble to get the hell out of there as she dropped to the ground. Before either elf could call up the Operations Booth to swear its paranoid inhabitant, they were both running for their lives.

It was a close call; too close for Trouble's tastes. Holly had done the right thing by landing before the explosion; most officers never realised just how far down the ground when you lost all wing control. Despite such quick thinking on Holly's part, she would have been incinerated if he hadn't managed to drag her off balance with only milliseconds to spare.

"That centaur is swear toad fodder," Holly growled, pushing herself up from the dirt and shrapnel encrusted floor. She ran a quick equipment check before glancing over at the retrieval captain who was still on his back in the dirt. "You alright, Trouble?"

"Give me two seconds to-" Trouble levered himself up with a groan and twisted his spine from left to right with an almighty crack "-grow back my vertebrae."

Holly was already on the move, carefully making her way towards the pile of rubble that had been the weapon's factory. "Are you sure Grub isn't rubbing off on you?" She threw back over her shoulder as Trouble continued to awkwardly rub his back. "You might have to file a complaint form."

He huffed as Holly disappeared behind a chunk of pre-moulded concrete. It was just like the female recon elf to run off into a dangerous situation without back up and Trouble felt tempted to just let her go. A falling hunk of twisted metal had seriously clouted him on the back and taken chips out of a few of his thoracic and lumbar vertebrae. He could still feel the magic tingling along his spine as it wrestled the loose pieces of bone back into place. Under normal circumstances, a complicated spinal injury such as the one he had now would have called for a medical warlock and at least two days of desk work. Captain Short, however, wasn't about to slow down and Trouble knew her career couldn't take another hit after Hamburg.

"Holly!" he shouted, sprinting towards the skeleton of the building with a grunt. "Wait for a second. Root'll string you up by your ears if you go in without back-up!"

"That's nothing new," the recon officer called back, her voice echoing through the soot-scarred shell of charred steel and cheap plaster walls. She was trying to sound unfalteringly gung-ho but Trouble could detect the false note in her voice. He'd obviously struck a nerve somewhere because Holly slowed her pace enough for him to catch up.

"If you think being stuck on traffic duty is the worst punishment the Commander can dish out, you're in for a shock."

Holly shot him an eye roll before she continued to navigate her way to the burned remains of the pixie's 'harmless device'. Trouble followed a few steps behind, his retrieval honed senses alert for danger. It took him only moments to notice the subtle movements of a tiny, dirt-stained pixie hefting a neutrino in their direction.

_I _really _shouldn't have rolled off my futon this morning_, Trouble thought, throwing himself at Holly again as the searing heat of an orange laser burst skimmed over his shoulder.

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_See, I actually updated on time! What'd you think? It was a lot lighter than the other two but I'm in an angst-writing mood at the moment so there shall be more hurt/comfort in the next one _;)

_I'm back in school tomorrow (year 12) but I do plan to continue that rebellion plot line I've touched on - maybe writing will keep me sane until after exams!_

_Ack, TAC comes out tomorrow in the UK! You lucky, lucky people!_

Last thing;** out of curiosity as well as research for future stories, are you:**

**+ A/H**

**+ H/T**

**+ Other/None**_  
_


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